3 proven ways to stop being a creep magnet.
How 3 easy simple shifts in body language deters predators.
Hello women, young and old, here’s is a shout out to women of all ages. We are taught many things to keep us safe out there in the world, we are taught to walk in lighted areas after dark, go to the ladies room with a friend, carry mace or pepper spray, and many more such types of advice.
What if I told you that you could change who you attract through 3 simple shifts in your body language alone?
In my early 20’s I was professional creep magnet. I didn’t want to be, but it didn’t seem to matter where I went or what I was doing I inevitably ended up in some awkward, threatening, or extremely uncomfortable situation.
I have learned some things since that time in my life. Recently I saw a young woman walking after dark alone on the edge of a university campus. I could tell she was carrying spray in one hand and keys in her other hand her pace was fast but her whole body was tense, and arms and legs close together.
Her unspoken body language screamed vulnerable. It is unlikely she meant to, but her body language was like a beacon to any would be predator out and about.
A whopping 60 % or more of all our communication is non-verbal.
That’s some pretty powerful juju if you learn to use consciously and intelligently.
We as woman often feel vulnerable when out and about whether we want to or not and that is communicated through our body language. Predators read our body language consciously and unconsciously just like anyone else. These 3 proven steps greatly reduce your risk of attracting predators.
So, the trick is first becoming aware of what messages our body language is sending and then shifting it through 3 simple easy to learn shifts in stance and posture.
When I first started practicing these same beginning stances, I will share with you — it was fascinating to watch what happened around me. I used to get trapped by men via body posture and verbal flooding, there were repeat offenders.
Before I learned these techniques, I will share with you shortly I would see a creep coming and wince — I knew I wasn’t going anywhere for at least an hour and I was going to feel exhausted after.
The first step is to become physically bigger, meaning take note of your posture. If you are attracting creeps, I’ll guarantee you are sending non-verbal body language that allows them to know you are vulnerable to their maneuvers.
Notice how your legs are close together, arms into your sides, shoulders slightly hunched or down, you may even keep your gaze and head down to try and avoid but instead it sends the signal you are an easy mark.
Lets used a simple example from my past: I was at a gas station counter getting ready to pay for my fuel when I saw out of the corner of my eye a repeat offender of mine enter. He saw me and made a bee line my direction. I didn’t turn, I didn’t duck, instead I shifted my stance dramatically.
Making it look as natural as I could I moved my feet apart slightly wider than my shoulders width, took off my hat placed it just wider than my shoulder on the counter placed my keys a similar distance away on the other side of me on the counter.
I straightened my spine, and squared my shoulders, keeping my body relaxed while making these changes I made myself look the cashier in the eyes and say jovially “it’s a nice day out there isn’t it?” I didn’t shout but I made sure my voice carried above the surrounding sounds. I watched my repeat offender literally get a hitch in his step and change directions completely avoiding me.
My forced joviality turned to sheer pleasure and more confidence when I realized my new knowledge when applied worked.
It is a constant work in the beginning. If you are feeling vulnerable or are naturally shy it will feel foreign to lift your voice, stand straight, and literally take up more space. But these three simple steps can dramatically shift who approaches you and who does not without you ever saying a word.
The real trick isn’t shifting the body posture, it is looking relaxed while doing it:
it is remembering that when you are most frightened is when you most need to take up more space physically.
Like the young lady walking by the university that I saw. If she had allowed her body to move freely and her arms to swing in a relaxed manner, kept her head up and looking out, and slowed her pace just slightly she would have sent a non-verbal of confidence which would have shifted her fear beacon into strength. She would have gone from a creep magnet sending a beacon to a person of small interest.
So, to recap 3 shifts:
1) Make yourself become bigger — literally take up more space.
2) Straighten spine and widen your posture — not so much you feel off balance.
3) Lift your voice and your head and eyes up –look out see the world and be heard.
Make these three shifts and practice them until they come with ease. One day they will come without your conscious thought that’s when you have it down.
This is when life really begins to shift for those of you who are creep magnets.
This simple but proven tool can when applied consistently deeply shift your life for the better.
It can help keep you safer in the world, and all without the need of combat training ;).
Note winky face humor.
